


I just need to feel like I'm alive right now

by peachel



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Canon Compliant, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Golden Deer Route Spoilers, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Spoilers, im in love with u mr claude fire emblem
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:33:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23243323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachel/pseuds/peachel
Summary: A series of one-shots expanding on events in the Golden Deer route, focusing on Byleth and Claude because I need more fluff. Yes I played almost 150 hours of this game. No I did not get enough Claude moments.
Relationships: My Unit | Byleth & Claude von Riegan, My Unit | Byleth/Claude von Riegan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	I just need to feel like I'm alive right now

Nothing made sense. For the first time in a long time, Sothis manifested before her. And it was just to chastise her about… Byleth wasn’t really sure what it was about. And the next thing she knew, some strange man was asking her a bunch of questions and spouting a bunch of nonsense: Garreg Mach was destroyed and abandoned, five years have past since the Imperial attack. 

It didn’t make sense and yet-

Byleth ignored the man’s words, she ignored the ruin and debris around her, she ignored the wobbling of her legs and ran. She knew she had to get to the Goddess Tower. She’d be able to see all of Garreg Mach from there and find answers herself. 

At the top, he’s there. He’s there just like he was-all those years ago, apparently-the night of the ball. His presence a juxtaposition to the stark ruins with his sun kissed brown skin and golden, expensive clothes. Except, he looks off. 

The uniform is replaced by extravagant garments. His braid is missing. His face is sharper and maturer and framed with facial hair. When he turns at the sound of her arrival, his eyes widen and his jaw practically unhinges with the way he gapes. 

_Like he’s seen a ghost,_ Byleth thinks. So it really has been years. 

Shock. Registration. And then:

His expression softens and his face breaks into a smile. His smiles didn’t always reach his eyes, she recalled. But this time.. This time it did. And, to her utmost relief, the snark is still there: “You overslept, Teach! Pretty rude to keep a fella waiting like that. Wouldn’t you say?” 

During her time as a professor, Byleth had learned to be more expressive. She was pretty sure she had expressed more emotion at the Officers Academy than she had her whole life combined. But right now, she couldn’t make her face move. No matter how much she wanted to scream or cry, her face felt heavy and stuck. 

“You didn’t really think I’d given up on you coming back. Did you?” The smile is still there. Same old Claude. But it takes only a moment for his facial features to be washed over with concern. His voice softens, “It’s been five long years. Where have you been, Teach? You don’t really expect me to believe you’ve been napping all this time, do you?” She knows that the last part must be a joke, but still… 

Byleth steps forward. She can’t believe what he’s saying. Five years? But it’s the same thing the stranger had said. And there's no denying that his appearance is suddenly older and more mature. There’s a dullness in her muscles she can’t ignore any longer, as if they’ve been immobile for- she’s terrified to admit to herself- five years. She only makes two steps before her legs give out from under her and she stumbles forward. 

Claude is there. In an instant, he closes the distance between them and catches her before she hits the ground. They’re a crumbled mess on the floor: her, with unresponsive muscles and him, with a crumbling composure. Arms tighten around her and his voice is soft. “Your body must be in agony, you look like,” he pauses, “Well, like a baby deer.”

Though her face remains stiff and monotonous, she allows herself to deeply exhale through her nose, resembling a chuckle. It doesn’t go unnoticed by Claude. 

And then the arms engulfing her tighten. His voice is low in her ear, “I’ve really missed you, Teach. You were deemed just another casualty. But I always knew, no matter how impossible it seemed, that you would come back eventually.” She doesn’t miss the way his voice cracks. He clings to her, not just for her own sake, but for his own. She clings back. The sound of his heartbeat and it’s quick content speed don’t go unnoticed. 

They relish in the comfort of each other and she realizes it’s exactly what she needs in that moment: comfort and silence amid the war and ruins and aching body.

Until the rumbling of her stomach ruins the moment. 

Claude pulls back with a genuine laugh, “You must be starving. Lucky for you I brought food. It’s not much, but..” he shrugs. “We have a lot of catching up to do but not on an empty stomach.”

Byleth was absolutely ravenous. She stuffed her face with anything and everything Claude had to offer, table manners be damned. Including the whiskey. It wasn’t exactly her father’s brand of choice, but the burning feeling of it in her throat reminded her of him nonetheless.

Thinking of her father brought back memories of hatred and revenge. And the negative emotions only grew as Claude got her caught up with the events of this god-awful war and what all her former students have been up to. 

She tried to feel close to her dad the only way she knows how: she took another long swing of whiskey. By now, her body already felt warm as the alcohol entered her bloodstream. 

Claude lets out a nervous chuckle, “You sure you should be drinking so much? You did just wake up after all.” 

In response, she threw the bottle down with a _thud_ and buried her face in her hands. Finally, finally, she regained control of the muscles in her face. For the second time in her life, Byleth broke down and cried. 

Her face contorted and lower lip trembled involuntarily. And she _hated_ it. She hated how she lost control and gasped for breath behind her hands. She hated the involuntary shaking of her shoulders. She hated the hopelessness of crying. She cried for the father she never had proper time to mourn, she cried for the missing years of her life, she cried for the people she was unable to save, she cried for her students that suffered alone, waiting and wishing for her return. She cried for the heavy feelings of despair and remorse resting deep in her gut.

Byleth feels Claude reach out and wrap his hands around her head, drawing her to his chest. She let herself be caressed. 

She cried into him until her breathing slowed and the mucus running from her nose became too uncomfortable. 

When she got it all out of her system, she felt embarrassed and relieved. 

Wiping her eyes, she mumbled, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. This war is hard on everyone.” He offered her tissues and gave her time to sniffle and recompose herself. 

“Do you remember the night before the ball?” he asked. “I know it was five years ago, but we promised the Golden Deer house would reunite the night of the millennium festival.” His face falls slightly and he lets out a nervous chuckle. “It doesn’t look like anyone’s here though.”

It was her turn to try to cheer him up; and she could use a little optimism herself, “It’s still early.” 

“Yes, it is.” Their eyes meet and his dark green eyes shine with wonder and passion. Byleth understood how the entire Alliance could look to those eyes for leadership and hope as he formulated a new scheme right before her eyes. “But you’re here now, my friend,” he doesn't break eye contact. Byleth had been called many things: professor, kid, the Ashen Demon. But nobody had ever called her their friend before. She felt heat rise to her cheeks.

“Call it fate or a miracle or whatever," Claude continued, "but a new dawn is here. You feel it, right?”

She wordlessly nodded.

“Not just for us though. No,” he went on, “for all of Fodlan.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this chapter MONTHS ago right after I finished the Golden Deer route, aka the best route. But I wasn't confident in it and didn't think I would really stick with this project. But have it anyway! Months after the game has been released and even after playing other routes, I still have it bad for Claude Fire Emblem.


End file.
